Are you still making the same mistakes or do you just love the drama?
As we travel through our life journey we are often confronted with challenging situations that we have experienced before. And often our reactions, and results, are exactly the same.
Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Why is it that we repeat the same mistakes over and over? No matter how bad it made us feel last time, or how much of a drama it was, we quickly throw away all common sense and just jump right back to where we were.
To make matters worse we tend to talk about the negative outcome (which, realistically, we could see coming anyway) to anyone who will listen. This is a pattern that can quite literally last a lifetime and can be very destructive, particularly when it comes to relationships and careers.
About nine years ago I found myself in a string of dysfunctional relationships. For several years I was in denial about one fact – the common factor in all of those relationships was actually me, not them. I committed to seeing a therapist for 12 months and at about the 10-month mark I met an incredible person, who I have now been with for over eight years! It’s my longest and most healthy relationship to date. One thing I also found helpful at the time was to write down what I was looking for in a partner in terms of personality traits, the kind of relationship we would have and how I felt in it.
This same approach can be applied to any area of your life that you feel isn’t really working. Are you going from job to job, diet to diet or, like me, from date to date? We are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s just up to us how we handle them and what lessons we walk away with.
It’s important to note that there are a lot of people out there who love to listen to your drama and really feed that negative energy. You share with them and they share with you. Although sometimes satisfying, it’s actually a very destructive conversation. It holds you back from moving forward to new possibilities.
You really need to start to listen to, and trust, your inner voice – the one that has seen you go down certain paths before. When you are confronted with a negative situation, go back to that previous time you experienced it and ask yourself: ‘How did I handle it and what was the outcome?’ and, ultimately, ‘How did that make me feel?’
It’s tough at first but try it and see how you go. Remember, any pattern can be broken and a new way of thinking can be established. Get out your affirmations and remind yourself of who you are, what you want and, most importantly, that you’re worth it.