WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

Putting what you’ve learnt into practice.

It’s easier to grasp something when it’s external from us and not actually part of the workings of our own lives at that time. You might read about a lesson learnt and nod your head in acknowledgement – you ‘get it’ intellectually. Things can change however when you are confronted with the very same situation, or lesson, in your own life. The real life situation requires action rather than intellectual understanding.

Since selling our apartment in New York a few months ago my partner and I have been casually looking for a new apartment to buy. We want a place in the same area that we can renovate, and have a set budget. Of course there is only one place we found that we both fell in love with. It’s more than we wanted to spend but it ticks a lot of boxes. So we set out to try and get financing for it.

Recently, a good friend introduced me to a private bank, through which we were trying to be approved for a new mortgage that would allow us to put in an offer on this new place. What I didn’t realize is that private banks are incredibly conservative. As an artist with an irregular wage structure it can be challenging to get approved for a mortgage. After a month of back and forth, the bank came back with a very low offer. I was expecting them to approve the amount we needed so I was obviously disappointed.

Now here’s the rub folks – I know after what I’ve learnt that I can’t be attached to that particular apartment. Even though I believe it’s the one, I need to be committed to the idea that another one will be just as great, if not better. Letting go can be the challenge as you have already visualized yourself in that place and want it to work out. This goes back to attachment versus commitment, a topic I have mentioned before in a previous post.

My accountant is now looking at other mortgage options but these processes take a while. I doubt the apartment we wanted, and has been on the market for a few months now, will still be there when we are ready, and that we will be able to get it for the price we wanted.

Ultimately, it’s about retraining the internal dialogue in your head. Remind yourself when you need to rethink something in a positive way. Take a moment to re-evaluate the way you are looking at the situation.

I’ll let you know how things pan out with the apartment and the mortgage, so stay tuned.

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